She's Not Following the Map — And I've Never Been More Proud
On Letting Your Child Find Their Own Roots
This week, my daughter Emily comes home.
Ten days. The longest stretch we’ll have had together since she left for college — and she negotiated it right into her new job offer. That’s my girl.
She’s 22 now. And as graduation photos flood my feed this week — the caps, the gowns, the proud families — I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a small ache in my chest. There is. I see it, I feel it, and I’m letting myself feel it.
But here’s the other thing I feel: an enormous, deep, quieter pride that I didn’t expect.
Emily and I did the whole college tour circuit. Just the two of us — because it’s always been the two of us. We found a school that felt right, that felt aligned. Colorado State University. She thought she wanted psychology, and she leaned into it, eventually landing in industrial-organizational psychology.
Then in February of 2025, I got the call.
“Mom. This isn’t what I want. I’m not sure what I want — but it’s not this. And I don’t think I want to finish school.”
I won’t pretend that was easy to hear. My DNA is practically made of education. Both of my parents were educators with master’s degrees. The script I was handed said: you go to college, you finish, you build from there. Full stop.
But I know my daughter. And I knew — even in that hard moment — that I needed to let this ride.
So she went out and found a job she loved. And then she found an even better one. And now Emily is living fully in Fort Collins, Colorado — snowboarding, kayaking, hiking, running through the hills — and she has embraced that life in a way that takes my breath away a little.
I think she’ll live there for the rest of her life. And honestly? I think she’s exactly where she’s supposed to be.
Here’s what I know about Emily: she has grit. She has tenacity. She has a fire in her that ignites when she’s doing something she actually cares about. The world is about to find that out.
She may not know yet exactly what mark she’ll leave on this world. But when she figures it out — and she will — we’re all going to know it.
In the meantime, a 22-year-old is thriving in her own beautiful, unconventional, deeply her way. She’s finding her own roots. And for a mom who wrote a book about exactly that — about whether your roots are right for you — watching my own daughter do it in real time is something I don’t take lightly.
So this graduation week, I’m celebrating her. Not the diploma she didn’t get. Her.
I love you, baby girl. I am so very proud of you.
Has someone in your life taken an unexpected path that turned out to be exactly right? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
Cari Ann Carter is the best-selling author of Are Your Roots Right? Rightsize Your Space. Reclaim Your Life. and a multi-faceted entrepreneur with a passion for intentional living, design, and home.
She leads the Cari Ann Carter Group, bringing over 28 years of experience in real estate, design, build, and renovation, and is the creative voice behind DIY Designer Homestead.
Through Fresh Roots Living, she shares practical ideas for cooking, gardening, entertaining, and creating a home that supports your next chapter.